He Said, She Said ... #2!!!

HEY ALL!

I am so incredibly sorry this took so long! Life has been slightly crazy over here! But hopefully I'll be getting these out every other week or so! 

So this time around, I asked the guys and girls what attracted they to guy/girl when they first meet them.

I was surprised that the answers were generally the same! I'm going to start with the girls!

The Girls

* I like it when the guy(s) talk to you first it make me feel like they care and that I'm important.

* When a guy doesn't treat you any different than his own guy friends. Like when they're perfectly comfortable talking to you, and starting a conversation with you! And aren't awkward about talking to you because you're a girl.

*I like it when a guy makes me feel valuable. Not meaning showering me with complements, but when I can see that a guy respects me and my beliefs. A guy who will come up and talk to me when I have no one to talk to, and really just treats me like a friend!

* When they're okay with showing emotion, and being human. When they like Pride and Prejudice and Disney movies... and are content with that.

Okay now this one really grabbed me because I so agree with it! Guys! Listen up! 

* When a guy isn't afraid to open up to a girl, that's a really nice thing! And when guys cry, I don't know! It's just nice when they're not ashamed of their tears! You know?

(And then another girl said) 

* Especially because that could show that they really trust you. They know that you won't berate them for being vulnerable.

(JUST, YES!!!) 

* I think it's really sweet when they remember something you said from a long time ago, which you thought to be small and insignificant, but they were paying enough attention to it, and thought it worth remembering.

* I like that smile guys give you when you do something that's stupid in your eyes and mind, but to them is the cutest thing ever. I also like it when they geek out over my favorite things just as much as me or more.

* I think when guys are open to your suggestions, that tells me a lot about how he'd treat you during a relationship. I appreciate it when you can tell them something, and they'll listen, and care enough to follow your suggestions and advice.

* I really like it when guys just say what they need or want because if they just try to do something on their own and it's not working out, makes me feel stressed out for them. I would rather work on something together then have him do it alone difficultly

There were more, but do you guys get it? It's more your insides that attract us! Just like they can repel us! We care about how you are on the inside! We love your heart, the way you treat others. While out sides matter too (good hygiene popped up a number of times!) we care about the real you! 

And we want to see it! We love when you're show us what you're feeling, when your tough facade fades and the real, vulnerable you shows thru! And yes, it's hard. I get it! But we want to see the real you! 

Now, girls! Your turn to get an earful! :) Here's what the guys said about you! 

The Guys

* I think it's attractive when a girl is willing to have a serious conversation. 

*  How they act. I like it when they're kind and happy. It bugs me when somebody seems to do nothing but complain.

* I'd say shared interests and ideas are a big deal.

* When she immediately is friendly toward you. Even if you've just met or don't know her very well. And even if she isn't talkative, if she's all around friendly toward you.

* When they talk about weird stuff with me at 1 in the morning even tho we've never talked before.

So, for guys (and I know it's a lot less than the girls but this illustrates my point) they like it when you take time to talk to them. Like, seriously talk! 

I know this is hard. TRUST ME! I KNOW! :) I hate going up to guys to talk because things like this flash through my head.

• What if they think I'm flirting?
• What if I sound like an idiot?
• Oh I have no idea what to say!

Stop! Just stop! From what the guys said, if you just be yourself and talk to them, for the most part, they won't think you're flirting! They want to be friends with us just as much as we want to be friends with them. And sometimes it just takes a conversation. 

So I guess over all, both guys and girls like it when you're just yourself. 

Guys, it's okay to show what you're feeling! We don't mind it. In fact, it sometimes attracts us! 

Girls, TALK! Make an effort to start the friendships! Guys like to hear your opinions! And most of the time, if you're just yourself, they don't think you're flirting. So don't worry! 

Over all, Be Yourself! It's a whole lot more attractive! 

w*ink emoti

She Said ... #1

Now for the girls point of view!

Question? Same as the guys!

What turns you off from a guy?

What I found amazing was the girls didn't get turned off by looks so much as personality! Take a look, guys! 

* It really bothers me when a guy tells you that he likes you but yet he's "checking out" other girls like please no

* I think one is when they don't remember something from a conversation that you just had.

* When they treat their siblings poorly. I really think it reflects on their character. Also if they are demeaning or belittling towards others, regardless of gender or age.

* Yes! If they're rude to their parents or their families, that bugs me a lot

*When a guy acts really immature, like saying something rude or fooling around like a little kid.

*When a guy disses other girls in front of you.

*All of those things really turn me off as well! Being rude to siblings, is really annoying. But sometimes, it's reflecting off of maybe personal issues they're having. I know the feeling first-hand, and it's not always just pure intent of rudeness. But not showing respect to parents, or adults in general definitely turns me off.

* When guys act really immature.

* When they're full of themselves, and talk about themselves a lot.

* Biggest turn offs for a guy is, 1. When they don't respect my beliefs or me in general. 2. When they aren't sensitive or at least attentive to the things in life I personally enjoy. (Things like hobbies and passions) 3. When they try and manipulate one to be persuaded that they are in the wrong, without looking from my stand point of view.

* Oh gosh hmmm... Just when they objectify women in general or if they whine a lot

* I think when a guy runs his mouth a lot it becomes unattractive. When he just says things automatically without thinking about them first. That goes for anyone though. So to sum up, not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

* When he is lazy or unmotivated, when he doesn't have the courage or perseverance to "stick it out."

* When he can't humble himself and admit he was wrong and apologize. I know how hard that is especially when it's an embarrassing situation, so I admire guy who can without their mom telling them to.

* When guys will play and feed off the attention of others; when he tries to one-up people, or speak insightful words only to impress and gain attention and acceptance from others.

* When a guy says he respects you and your opinion but then you say or do something and he doesn't respect your thought or decisions at all.

* I really don't like it when guys know they are being inappropriate around girls even when they mean it as a joke. Maybe it's because I am just really good friends with a lot of guys, because I see a lot of it. but it makes me feel good when they intentionally don't joke around like guys do when they are with guys, but realizes that there is a girl here and they should save it for when they are by themselves. However hilarious it is, it can be a stumbling block sometimes. It makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward.

* For me, a turn off is when a guy says I'm not putting enough work into how I look or doesn't take me in my stand of faith seriously because I had a different faith background from him.

Wow. 

I know this is a lot of information! And guys, this wasn't a rip session! This is from over 30 different girls! And we all agreed, these are the things that bother us, turn us off. 

I found it funny. Guys look outwardly first. And while, for sure, we look at outward beauty, we take a deep deep interest of the personality. If your personality is beautiful, then your outsides become more beautiful! 

God calls the men to be the leaders of the home. To protect the weak, to love his wife. I know most of you aren't married! :) But you can still protect the women in your life. Sometimes, we need you to. We want you too. Feminism can only go so far. Please, don't treat us as weaklings, but we want you to do sweet things, we want to see you love little kids, we want you to respect our feelings.

We aren't  guys. We sure as heck don't think like you! I think I've made that fairly obvious! And I think, if I want you to take anything from this it is this ...

Outward is not as important as Inward! 

I was talking to the girls in the last post about the same thing. You like less make-up (for the most part). We like the insides. Worry about what's coming from inside you. Cause if it is ugly, guess what? So are you! 

I am going to end this post much like I ended my last one. With the words of our King!

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

Luke 6:45

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Go with God! Serve your Sisters! 
Anna

He Said ... #1

So...welcome!

This blog is one of my new idea. It's going to take a common question of some type and look at guys views vs. girls views.

The one I wanted to start with was this ..

What turns you off from a girl/guy?

I'm going to start with the guys responses. So this post, it's for us girls!  This is basically the responses. To be honest, they surprised me!

* If a girl is rude, ignores me, or is mean to others...basic stuff. ;P

* Smoking is one of the worst I think you guys know that. 

* For me personally, tattoos and other sorts of piercings (obviously not ear piercings but most others)

* Yes those are good ones!

* Definitely smoking... tattoos aren't bad sometimes.... too many piercings is ew

* Yeah, if it's excessive then it's ew

* When girls fish for compliments it really annoys me. "I'm not good looking" me "well when you say stuff like that, you sure as heck aren't"

* When they swear or wear revealing clothing. I turn off faster than a light in a photophobics room I just think revealing clothing sends a message that the girl is insecure and trying to use her body to get attention. Besides, outward appearances are only skin deep.

* I think it some times depends on the attitude of the girl and how she feels about it. granted, if a any girl is wearing something that makes me uncomfortable, I still don't like it. But if it's some I know is not trying to get my attention, I'm less likely to feel uncomfortable.

* A turn off for me is when a girl, well for lack of a better term, "pursues" me, but I know that she's been with/ liked a bunch of other guys. I don't wanna be number 37, you know what I mean?

* hey guys, i have a topic that "turns me off" too much makeup!

* Ahhhhh yeh i forgot about that Definitely Honestly sometimes i prefer no makeup at all

* I just prefer none


And this wasn't all of them!

Girls, I think it's obvious. Guys look on how we look. And we need to support our brothers in Christ! We need to dress modestly, we need to respect them! We need to be Daughters of the King, shining with a beauty from within!

One thing I found super interesting was, they said they like less makeup! They like looking at the real you! They like it when they don't have to worry about what you're wearing, they can look you in the eye and not have to worry that their eyes will flick to something they shouldn't be seeing or dwelling on. They like knowing you! 

Girls, I know this is hard for us to understand. We don't think like that! In the next post, I'll be sharing about that for the guys! But I think it is important for us to realize guys do.

That's why I started this blog, so we can help out brothers and sisters in growing, healthy, strong relationships!

I want to end each post with some words from our King. These were actually sent to me by one of the guys in my group chat.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works

Song of Solomon 4:7 

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

1 Peter 3:4

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Go with God! Shine for your Brothers!
Anna